How To Know One Sided Love

By

I have this friend of mine, named Rose. She was in what you can refer to as a one-sided relationship for many years.

Most times she spoke about her boyfriend it was with uncertainty and trepidation. “I feel he doesn’t want me to hurt him. You know his ex-girlfriend died in a house fire and he said he still can’t get over the sight of her charred remains”.

In the beginning, I was sympathetic to this ex-boyfriend situation. I would listen and would offer advice. One day, out of curiosity, I asked her when his ex-girlfriend died and she told me 10 years ago.

I don’t mean to invalidate his grief, but ten years is a long time to still be emotionally unavailable to your current girlfriend, and refuse to be consistently loving in a new relationship.

He also avoided being seen in public with her and shunned any opportunities to meet her friends and loved ones.
It took her years to finally get the message that it was unrequited love.

She wanted it to work, and sometimes he could be really sweet, and this aided her confusion. But the times when she was in agony far outweighed the good times.

What is One Side Love?
Unrequited love is the love felt by one person in a relationship. It is love or emotional feelings that are not reciprocated by one person in the relationship. It is a one-sided experience that can leave us feeling pain, grief, and shame.

You may think it would be easy to tell if love is unrequited, but it isn’t always clear and can cause a lot of confusion and emotional turmoil.

Films and books have often romanticized unrequited love. Stories, where a person’s love for another, are met with derision. But this person continues to endure humiliation and hurt.

How You Know It Is One-Love

There are many signs of unrequited love. Here are a few;
1. This person may not know you exist or the feelings you have for them
2. Most of the good you do for them is unacknowledged or treated with triviality
3. They don’t act like they are accountable to you
4. They introduce you as a friend and freely tell you about dinner or film dates with others
5. If you are in a sexual relationship, you feel used afterward
6. You have more conversations in your head with this person than actual conversations
7. This person is in your daydreams as a romantic and attentive lover

How To Heal From Unrequited Love
One of the most painful experiences we can have as human beings is loving someone who doesn’t love us back. It can lead to intense sadness and sometimes people develop an aversion to love because of their experiences with unrequited love.

You are not the problem
There is the tendency to think you are not good enough because the person you love refuses to love you back. It is important to know that their inability to love you back or the way you should be loved is not your problem.
Allow yourself to mourn the loss of a relationship that you thought you have.

Most times, you are so appalled by your apparent blindness to the red flags you observed in the relationship that you quickly want to move on. In getting over a lost love on one side love, you can’t rush things.

Say what needs to be said
I once dated someone who blew hot and cold. I wasn’t sure if he reciprocated my feelings or not. So one day I asked him and he told me he wasn’t ready for the type of love I wanted. This conversion freed me and him.

Don’t grovel or beg
Respect yourself when this person shows and tells you they don’t return your feelings. We may battle feelings of low self-esteem after someone shows us they don’t want to be in a relationship with us. Don’t stalk them, don’t disrespect yourself by waiting around for them to change their mind.

Love happens to us not just in relationships but in life. Sometimes you love a dress so much and dreamed of owning it, but when you wear it, it just won’t fit.

And there is nothing you can do about it. Or you want a job so bad but they tell you they met better-qualified candidates. Sometimes the things or people you want don’t want you back and that will never change.

When you stay with a person who doesn’t love you back, you could miss out on a chance to be with the person who will love you like you are perfect, the love of your life!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

[PHOTOS] “Religion Has Happened To Me” - Man Mourns His Wife And Daughter Who Died In Stampede During Abia Catholic Church Procession

By
Image
A Nigerian man named Peter Ukaegbu, has mourned the loss of his wife, Emmanuella Chizoba, and their daughter, Onyinyechi Prisca, who tragically died in the stampede at Christ the King Cathedral (CKC) in Aba, Abia State. The mother, daughter and three other worshippers were trampled to d3ath, with about 13 children hospitalised, following the stampede which occurred during the annual Christ the King procession on Sunday, November 25, 2024.  The incident is believed to have occurred due to the overcrowding of the Christ the King Cathedral, as security men were alleged to have locked the gates of the church. In a heart-wrenching post on Facebook, Ukaegbu revealed that he and his wife had planned to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary in Port Harcourt on November 30. “We would have been in P.H.C celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary today as we planned up to 23rd November, 2024. You woke up on Sunday morning with my adorable daughter who doubles as my second wife, cooked, bath ...
Read more

IBADAN STAMPEDE: “35 Dead Bodies Recovered, Six In Critical Condition” – Police

By
Image
  The Oyo State Police Command have revealed the number of dead that have been recovered in the deadly Ibadan stampede.   The police said no fewer than 35 bodies of minors, who were killed in the Ibadan stampede have been recovered.   The Police Public Relations Officer of the state, SP Osifeso Adewale, who confirmed this in a statement on Thursday, said about six minors who sustained severe injuries during the incident, are in critical condition. “So far (35) thirty-five minors have been documented dead while (6) six others are critically injured and on various medical interventions,”  he said.   Recall that a funfair organized by the former Queen of the Ooni of Ife, Prophetess Naomi Shikemi at the Islamic High School, Bashorun, Ibadan, had resulted in stampede, leading to the tragic incident.   The Oyo State Police Command said that eight persons involved in sponsoring the event had since been arrested.   The Police spokesman said those arrested incl...
Read more

World Bank Set To Approve Another $500 Million Loan For Nigeria Which Is 10th Disbursement Under Tinubu

By
Image
  The Board of the World Bank Group met on Friday 13th of December, to approve a new loan request from the President Bola Tinubu-led Nigerian government. This time, the country is seeking a $500million loan to boost rural access and agricultural marketing in the country. The loan sought by the government is targeted for the Rural Access and Agricultural Marketing Project—Scale Up. Further details of the proposed loan shows an intent to bridge the gap between rural communities and the broader marketplace, facilitating smoother access to agricultural markets, schools, and hospitals and promoting social cohesion among rural populations. According to the documents on the loan, states willing to participate in the project are required to have a fully functional Roads Fund and Roads Agency with appointed boards and staff, and provisions for administrative costs in the state budget. The document noted,  “While the eligibility for state participation under RAAMP required the drafting ...
Read more

Pastor Publishes Own Obituary To Escape N3 Million Debt Repayment In Ondo State

By
Image
  Ondo State Magistrate Court has remanded a 43-year-old clergyman, Paul Oyewole, for allegedly publishing his obituary on social media to evade the N3 million debt payment he owed one of his church members. Oyewole reportedly obtained the sum of N3m from Emmanuel Boyede, alleging that he would pay back the money within seven days. Police Prosecutor, Moremi Akao, told the court that the accused falsely published and posted his obituary on WhatsApp after sending a fake bank alert to his creditor. And alleged to have threatened the creditor on the phone.’ “He committed the offence between the 25th of November, 2021, and the 7th of May, 2022, in the Valentino area of Ondo town, punishable under Sections 419, 86, and 125A(1) of the Criminal Code, Cap 37, Volume 1, Laws of Ondo State of Nigeria, 2006,” Akao said. The cleric pleaded not guilty when the charges were read to him. The defendant’s counsel, Arokoyo Queen, applied for the cleric bail in the most liberal terms, promising he wou...
Read more

West Ham Star, Michail Antonio Involved In A Serious Car Accident

By
Image
  Michail Antonio, the West Ham striker, was involved in a road traffic accident on Saturday afternoon in the Essex area. The Jamaican footballer is said to be in a stable condition and "conscious and communicating" while under close supervision at a central London hospital. West Ham issued the statement confirming the forward, 34, had been involved in an accident after images emerged of a smashed Ferrari. In a statement, West Ham said Antonio is  "currently under close supervision at a central London hospital". The Premier League club added:  "At this difficult time, we kindly ask everyone to respect the privacy of Michail and his family. "The club will make no further comment this evening, but will issue a further update in due course." Essex County Fire and Rescue Service said it attended the scene of the accident in Epping on Saturday afternoon and released a man trapped in his car. "Crews were called at 1.02pm this afternoon after reports of...
Read more

Nollywood Actor, Amaechi Muonagor Diagnosed With Kidney Disease, Diabetes And Stroke

By
Image
  Nollywood actor, Amaechi Muonagor, has recently been diagnosed with kidney disease, diabetes, and stroke during his three-week hospital  admission. His cousin, Tony Muonagor popularly known as Tony One Week shared this health update on Facebook, stating that Amaechi Muonagor was currently contending with kidney disease, diabetes, and stroke. In his post on Sunday, Tony wrote, “This picture was taken two weeks ago when I visited my cousin Amaechi Muonagor (Aguiyi) at the Nnewi Teaching Hospital. I initially had wanted to quietly assist as much as I could but later decided to make this post to clarify some things so that my friends, fans, and Amaechi’s fans, and indeed the online community can be better informed. Tony Muonagor (left) with Nollywood actor, Amaechi Muonagor  “Amaechi is currently down with kidney disease, diabetes, and stroke. He had been managing his diabetes over the years and living his life. He is presently undergoing weekly dialysis and other treatment...
Read more

Court Sentences Florida Woman To 25 Years Imprisonment For The Fatal Shooting Of Nigerian Woman In The US

By
Image
  A  court has handed a 25-year jail term to a white Florida woman over the fatal shooting of her Black Nigerian neighbour through a closed door. Back in August, Susan Lornicz was found guilty of manslaughter for the June 2023 shooting of Ajike “AJ” Owens during a dispute about children playing near Lornicz’s home in Ocala, in central Florida. Owens, a 35-year-old Nigerian mother of four, was unarmed and knocking on Lorincz's door when the older woman fired a single round from her handgun. She later told detectives that neighborhood children, including Owens’, had left toys in her yard before. She told police Owens was shouting  “I’m going to kill you”  while banging on the door after Lornicz earlier confronted the kids and threw a pair of roller skates. Judge Robert Hodges said he considered that Lorincz had already called 911 and police were on the way when she shot Owens. “The shooting was completely unnecessary in this case,”  the judge said. “ In this case,...
Read more